My Hypnobirth
Our Hypnobirth Story
After many years of infertility and 3 rounds of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF), we were delighted to finally be pregnant with our miracle baby girl!
If interested, you can read about our infertility journey elsewhere on my blog.
I had known for years that I wanted to have a natural, unmedicated birth. Many have asked why I wanted to do this, wondering how crazy I must be to want to experience such a painful event! Truth is, I have always found birth to be fascinating and thought of it as one of the few events in this life where the veil between heaven and earth is so thin as a new soul is brought into this world. I wanted to be fully present to experience every single detail of the event. Also, after struggling with infertility for so long, I wanted to prove that my body was capable of doing what it was designed to do, and I wanted to make the decisions on how my birth was going to happen.
There are also many benefits to a un-medicated delivery such as increased success with breastfeeding, decreased chance of post-partum depression, and increased bonding between mother and baby. I loved the idea that I could be free to move around the room while in labor and that I could quickly be on my feet after delivery. Natural deliveries tend to be quicker with less chance of tearing and a quicker recovery. There is also significantly less chance of ending in a cesarean section.
I am not anti-epidurals or anti-medicated births. I also have no qualms against cesarean sections. I believe every birth is beautiful and I support any decision a parent makes about their birth plan. Also, as a nurse, I fully understand that births do not always go according to plan. I simply loved the idea of a natural birth and it was the perfect birth plan for me.
While preparing for my babies birthing day, I signed up for the Hypnobirthing course at my local hospital. I figured I should learn some coping techniques to help me for labor. The course was teaching the Mongan Method. I had no idea what Hypnobirthing was until taking that class. Truthfully, I thought "Hypnobirth" sounded a bit looney. A woman is going to be hypnotized for her birth!? I did not understand.
In short, this is what I learned: birth has become a part of the medical world over the last couple centuries and in this process, it has changed the way birth is viewed. Instead of it being a natural process, it is now a medical event which all too often leads to medical interventions. Modern media also depicts birth as one of the single most painful things a woman can go through, making people believe this is what birth is. People also love sharing their birth horror stories as if it is a badge of honor to have survived, rather than sharing peaceful loving birth stories. All of these things have led to birth becoming something a pregnant mother is anxious about, or worse, leads them to fear their birth.
Marie Mongan breaks all of this down and reminds women that birth occurred for thousands of years before it became a dreaded medical event. The thing I love about Hypnobirth is that it does not necessarily promote birthing at home (but it is not against it either). This particular course, and book, revolve around hospital birthing. The course heavily involves educating mothers and their significant other to be prepared for whatever turn their birth takes. We all know that without modern medicine, a bad turn in a birth would result in much poorer outcomes. So please don't misunderstand me, I am very grateful for modern medicine and access to modern interventions at birth, as you will see below that several were needed in my daughters birth.
So what is Hypnobirthing? First, it is a change in your mindset. I stopped believing birth was painful. I told myself everyday that contractions were like waves of pressure that would come and peak and then would dissipate. Each wave would only last a short time and there would be a period of rest between. I called contractions surges, to make the word less scary. I repeated the phrase "each surge brings my baby closer to me".
I stopped watching any birth depictions on television that showed sensationalized, graphic birth stories. I stopped listening to any person sharing their birth story if it was not a positive, uplifting story. I only let positive things into my head. By the time I went into labor, I KNEW my birth was not going to be painful or scary.
I stopped watching any birth depictions on television that showed sensationalized, graphic birth stories. I stopped listening to any person sharing their birth story if it was not a positive, uplifting story. I only let positive things into my head. By the time I went into labor, I KNEW my birth was not going to be painful or scary.
I also began to believe in my body and my baby. I repeated affirmations every day stating phrases like, "my cervix opens easily", "my baby's size is perfect for my body", "I trust my body and my baby". These affirmations helped me to put all fear aside and to feel calm and prepared for my birth.
I also began practicing self hypnosis. Yes, Hypnobirth is a type of hypnosis! For anyone that has done yoga, Hypnobirth is similar to the breathing and meditation done in yoga. I did daily meditations and practiced multiple relaxation techniques. These items are KEY to a successful Hypnobirth.
Other things I did to prepare for birth included maintaining a healthy diet (as best I could being a hungry pregnant lady!), walking every day, and trying to stay fit. I followed Spinning Babies techniques, making sure to never sit in a bucket seat position and doing everything possible to promote my baby to be in a good birthing position. I practiced acupressure with my husband as well as light touch massage. I purchased essential oils and learned how to use them. I also wrote up lists for my husband to remember while I was in labor!
I just have to insert here that my husband, Trevor, was completely on board with our birth plan. He attended every Hypnobirth class, practiced meditations with me, and read the entire Hypnobirth book. For these reasons, our birth was successful without needing a doula or labor coach. Ladies, if you are interested in Hypnobirth, try to get your partner 100% involved!
So let's get onto the birth story!
I was due June 14 and despite being well aware that babies will come on their own timing, I was quite devastated when I went past my due date! My loving husband did his best to keep me cheery and occupied with activities. For example, the day before my due date we drove 1.5 hours to Kolob Reservoir for a full day of fishing in the cooler mountain air.
On June 15, at 40 weeks and 1 day, I called my OB's office and asked them to strip my membranes. They had tried unsuccessfully the week before, as I was not dilated enough at my last appointment. The nurse practitioner told me I was dilated to a 2 and she did her best to strip my membranes. I went home and bounced and did hip circles on my yoga ball all day but had no surges.
That evening, I pulled out all the stops. I ate spicy food, we went for a long walk up and down hills and curbs, we enjoyed some couple time ;), and we massaged all the acupressure points that are supposed to help induce labor. Then as I got ready for bed, around 22:00, I lost the rest of my mucous plug!
We laid down to bed at 23:00 and Trevor quickly fell asleep. At about the same time as he fell asleep, I began having surges. I timed them on my Freya app (totally recommend this app!!!). They were about 15 minutes apart and the excitement kept me from falling asleep.
We laid down to bed at 23:00 and Trevor quickly fell asleep. At about the same time as he fell asleep, I began having surges. I timed them on my Freya app (totally recommend this app!!!). They were about 15 minutes apart and the excitement kept me from falling asleep.
Around 03:00, I woke Trevor up and told him to call in sick for work that day because I was pretty sure we were in labor! My surges were still 15 minutes apart but they felt stronger and different then before. At 04:00, I decided to get up and get moving around to see if I could get things to progress. I took a shower and curled my hair. I then got on my yoga ball and did hip circles and small bouncing.
(This is the dress I purchased for the birth, I excitedly put it on after showering that morning. I would 1000000000% recommend this dress! It has snap buttons for easy access to the chest and back and it crosses over the belly for easy access there too. I purchased it online and there are many beautiful patterns or colors to choose from.)
The surges picked up around 07:00, starting to come every 5 minutes and getting more intense. I decided to get into my bathtub and use my relaxation techniques. Our plan was to labor at home for as long as possible. We had tentatively decided that we were not going to go to the hospital until my surges were less than 5 minutes apart for at least an hour.
(My husband brought me breakfast in the tub!)
I excitedly told my husband that the surges were now 5 minutes apart and that he should get the car loaded up. But, as soon as he loaded the car up, the surges began to slow down.
I know labor can sometimes slow down before it picks back up, so I took the opportunity to lay in bed and try to sleep, seeing as I did not sleep the night before. My surges continued to wake me up every 15 to 30 minutes. After laying down and trying to rest as long as possible, I decided to get up and get moving again. This is how the entire day continued. I went back and forth from trying to rest and catch small naps, to walking, bouncing, or squatting around my house.
At some point during the day, I noticed that when the surges were extra strong, it seemed my bladder would leak a little bit! I began carrying a small washcloth around to catch the urine. As the day turned into night again, I looked at my husband feeling frustrated that labor was taking so long. I was exhausted! He gave me a priesthood blessing for comfort and strength.
Since it was dark, and finally cool enough outside, we decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood. The plan was to take the walk and then see if my surges sped up and if they did not, then we would try to get me as comfortable as possible to try and get some sleep for the night.
While on the walk, as I stepped up and down the curb sides, I thought about how I felt like I was peeing myself during the day. Then a strong spiritual prompting hit me... was there a chance I could have a small leak in my amniotic sac? I mentioned this to my husband and we both decided it would be safest to go be checked at the hospital. I was nearly 100% convinced they would check me and tell me I had indeed had a loose bladder and I would be embarrassed as we were turned away to go back home.
We arrived at the hospital around 23:00 on June 16, after being in early labor for 24 hours. When they put the speculum in to swab and see if I was ruptured, the paper turned colors immediately and then there was a bit of a gush of clear fluid. The nurse confirmed that I must have been leaking throughout the day! I couldn’t believe it, we were going to be admitted and the baby was coming! I was dilated to a 4 and 100% effaced.
As they set me up to monitors, they found baby girls heart rate was elevated, about 170bpm. Concerned that there may be infection starting, my doctor strongly advised we do continuous fetal monitoring and that we move me into a low intervention birth suite instead of the simply birth suite.
The simply birth suite is a unique birthing suite at my hospital that is designed to make you feel like you are birthing in your own home. There is a giant tub and a queen size bed option, along with decorations and a microwave! You have to take birth classes and qualify through your OB as a low risk pregnancy to be able to be approved for the simply birth room. In the room, continuous monitoring is not permitted.
I was sad that we were being kicked out of the simply birth suite, but I knew the low intervention suite would still allow me to get into a tub and that I could still have my natural birth as long as the baby stayed okay. I agreed to some IV fluids to see if it would help the baby out and we were moved into the birth suite. (The IV fluids did help and her heart rate decreased). At this time, I also underwent the lovely COVID-19 nasal swab, so fun.
In the room, my husband taped my birth affirmations on the wall and started playing my birth playlists. He and the nurse helped me into the tub and there I stayed for several hours feeling calm and relaxed.
After several hours, my surges were staying about 7 minutes apart and I began to feel exhaustion setting in again, as now I had not truly slept for 2 nights. I decided to leave the tub and try to sleep in the bed for a while.
As the nurse helped me back to the bed, she kindly discussed two things with me. First, she said that my surges were not indicating that my labor was advancing quickly. Since they did not know when I ruptured, she suggested we think about using some pitocin to help move things along. The longer your membranes are ruptured prior to delivery, the higher chance of an infection starting. She stated that the pitocin may make my surges more intense but that labor would go faster and be over sooner which would be beneficial to decrease the chance of infection and the chance of my doctor thinking I should need a c-section.
The second thing she discussed with me was trying a dose of fentanyl which may help me get an hour nap. She knew I was exhausted and worried that I wouldn’t have the energy to push my baby out when it came time.
I allowed her to check my cervix and I was still dilated to a 4. My husband and I discussed these deviations from our birth plan and ultimately decided to agree to them.
As a nurse myself, I knew the benefits and possible cons of IV pain meds. I knew that fentanyl was fast acting and would be out of my system before my baby was born.
Bless the wonderful fentanyl! It allowed me a solid one hour nap, so I asked for a second dose. The second dose gave me another 30 minute nap and I woke up feeling like a new woman, ready to tackle the rest of my labor!
Meanwhile, the pitocin had been going for a while and so I agreed to let the nurse check my cervix again. (My original birth plan was to have minimal or no cervical checks, but I found that in the moment, I really wanted to know my dilation status!) I was deeply saddened to find I was still only dilated to a 4+! The nurse turned the pitocin up and left the room.
Trevor said a prayer for us that my strength would continue and that my labor would progress.
Trevor helped me to the restroom and I remember looking at him and asking if I was sure I could do this! I wasn’t feeling pain, I was just tired of how long labor was taking! It was a mentally and physically exhausting experience!
The nurse came back with my new day shift nurse. They did shift report while I sat there on the toilet. As they were finishing report, I suddenly felt an intense urge to push! I couldn’t even control my body, it just pushed as the surge hit. My new nurse looked at me and suggested we head back to bed.
I didn't want to lay down quite yet so they set me up on the yoga ball. With each surge I continued feeling the urge to push. My nurse suggested we check my cervix again although the other nurse had just checked me.
She helped me back to the bed and we were all amazed to find out I was now a 9+! I advanced from a 4 to almost a 10 in about an hour! I could have cried in relief knowing that my baby was finally coming to me!
They positioned the bed so I could kneel on it and let the baby descend. My amazing nurse and husband helped hold counter pressure on my hips as the surges hit and reminded me to breathe and stay relaxed.
After holding this position for a while, my knees were so tired and began shaking, so I asked to switch to my back again. By this time, my baby had descended and was now crowning. The doctor came and they set the room up for delivery.
All of the staff was so kind and supportive, there was no coached pushing. I listened to my body and let it do what it was designed to do! With every surge, my body naturally pushed.
I watched in the mirror as my baby girl was born at 08:56 on June 17, weighing 8lb 5 oz and 22 1/2” in length.
We delayed cord cutting and did immediate skin too skin. However, baby girl was not breathing well and they had to take her to the warmer to suction a bunch of fluid out of her lungs. Luckily, she pinked right up after and was returned to my chest. She hardly cried and was very content.
She did the breast crawl (AMAZING and something I'd encourage every new mom to try) and self latched for 90 minutes of breast feeding!
I did have a second degree tear. I am tempted to blame the pitocin (which I think caused my body to do more pushing then 'breathing down’). I don’t remember the birth being painful at all, just very intense pressure. If I had to describe it, it felt like a mensural cramp in my pelvic region combined with a very tight squeeze across my abdomen and pressure in my bottom! The only part I would describe as painful was the lidocaine injections for the stitching.
Baby girl is the most content baby who rarely cries. She still loves listening to our birth playlist with me. I attribute her calm demeanor to all my relaxations we did while she was in utero and our natural gentle birth.
We named her Tayvri Violet Smith. Tayvri is a name I have loved for many years and it happens to be the perfect combination of Jaycie and Trevor! Violet is my great grandmothers name. I was very close to Violet and I feel blessed to share her legacy with Tayvri. Trevor told me after the delivery that he was sure there were angels present at Tayvri's birth and grandma Violet was one of them. So the name is perfect for her.
I am so happy we took the Hypnobirthing course and I am absolutely in love with how our birth turned out. We were well prepared for every turn our birth plan took and I would definitely recommend Hypnobirthing to anybody interested!
To those who read this far, thank you for supporting our little family. <3
At some point during the day, I noticed that when the surges were extra strong, it seemed my bladder would leak a little bit! I began carrying a small washcloth around to catch the urine. As the day turned into night again, I looked at my husband feeling frustrated that labor was taking so long. I was exhausted! He gave me a priesthood blessing for comfort and strength.
Since it was dark, and finally cool enough outside, we decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood. The plan was to take the walk and then see if my surges sped up and if they did not, then we would try to get me as comfortable as possible to try and get some sleep for the night.
While on the walk, as I stepped up and down the curb sides, I thought about how I felt like I was peeing myself during the day. Then a strong spiritual prompting hit me... was there a chance I could have a small leak in my amniotic sac? I mentioned this to my husband and we both decided it would be safest to go be checked at the hospital. I was nearly 100% convinced they would check me and tell me I had indeed had a loose bladder and I would be embarrassed as we were turned away to go back home.
We arrived at the hospital around 23:00 on June 16, after being in early labor for 24 hours. When they put the speculum in to swab and see if I was ruptured, the paper turned colors immediately and then there was a bit of a gush of clear fluid. The nurse confirmed that I must have been leaking throughout the day! I couldn’t believe it, we were going to be admitted and the baby was coming! I was dilated to a 4 and 100% effaced.
As they set me up to monitors, they found baby girls heart rate was elevated, about 170bpm. Concerned that there may be infection starting, my doctor strongly advised we do continuous fetal monitoring and that we move me into a low intervention birth suite instead of the simply birth suite.
The simply birth suite is a unique birthing suite at my hospital that is designed to make you feel like you are birthing in your own home. There is a giant tub and a queen size bed option, along with decorations and a microwave! You have to take birth classes and qualify through your OB as a low risk pregnancy to be able to be approved for the simply birth room. In the room, continuous monitoring is not permitted.
I was sad that we were being kicked out of the simply birth suite, but I knew the low intervention suite would still allow me to get into a tub and that I could still have my natural birth as long as the baby stayed okay. I agreed to some IV fluids to see if it would help the baby out and we were moved into the birth suite. (The IV fluids did help and her heart rate decreased). At this time, I also underwent the lovely COVID-19 nasal swab, so fun.
In the room, my husband taped my birth affirmations on the wall and started playing my birth playlists. He and the nurse helped me into the tub and there I stayed for several hours feeling calm and relaxed.
(Spy the cotton swab on my chest? My husband was so awesome at using my essential oils!)
Trevor was so attentive to my needs. Due to Covid, he was the only support person allowed to be there with me. He was my rock! Also he was a pretty good photographer. Sadly, we took many videos as well but I do not know how to upload them from google photo to this blog!
After several hours, my surges were staying about 7 minutes apart and I began to feel exhaustion setting in again, as now I had not truly slept for 2 nights. I decided to leave the tub and try to sleep in the bed for a while.
As the nurse helped me back to the bed, she kindly discussed two things with me. First, she said that my surges were not indicating that my labor was advancing quickly. Since they did not know when I ruptured, she suggested we think about using some pitocin to help move things along. The longer your membranes are ruptured prior to delivery, the higher chance of an infection starting. She stated that the pitocin may make my surges more intense but that labor would go faster and be over sooner which would be beneficial to decrease the chance of infection and the chance of my doctor thinking I should need a c-section.
The second thing she discussed with me was trying a dose of fentanyl which may help me get an hour nap. She knew I was exhausted and worried that I wouldn’t have the energy to push my baby out when it came time.
I allowed her to check my cervix and I was still dilated to a 4. My husband and I discussed these deviations from our birth plan and ultimately decided to agree to them.
As a nurse myself, I knew the benefits and possible cons of IV pain meds. I knew that fentanyl was fast acting and would be out of my system before my baby was born.
Bless the wonderful fentanyl! It allowed me a solid one hour nap, so I asked for a second dose. The second dose gave me another 30 minute nap and I woke up feeling like a new woman, ready to tackle the rest of my labor!
Meanwhile, the pitocin had been going for a while and so I agreed to let the nurse check my cervix again. (My original birth plan was to have minimal or no cervical checks, but I found that in the moment, I really wanted to know my dilation status!) I was deeply saddened to find I was still only dilated to a 4+! The nurse turned the pitocin up and left the room.
Trevor said a prayer for us that my strength would continue and that my labor would progress.
Trevor helped me to the restroom and I remember looking at him and asking if I was sure I could do this! I wasn’t feeling pain, I was just tired of how long labor was taking! It was a mentally and physically exhausting experience!
The nurse came back with my new day shift nurse. They did shift report while I sat there on the toilet. As they were finishing report, I suddenly felt an intense urge to push! I couldn’t even control my body, it just pushed as the surge hit. My new nurse looked at me and suggested we head back to bed.
I didn't want to lay down quite yet so they set me up on the yoga ball. With each surge I continued feeling the urge to push. My nurse suggested we check my cervix again although the other nurse had just checked me.
She helped me back to the bed and we were all amazed to find out I was now a 9+! I advanced from a 4 to almost a 10 in about an hour! I could have cried in relief knowing that my baby was finally coming to me!
They positioned the bed so I could kneel on it and let the baby descend. My amazing nurse and husband helped hold counter pressure on my hips as the surges hit and reminded me to breathe and stay relaxed.
After holding this position for a while, my knees were so tired and began shaking, so I asked to switch to my back again. By this time, my baby had descended and was now crowning. The doctor came and they set the room up for delivery.
All of the staff was so kind and supportive, there was no coached pushing. I listened to my body and let it do what it was designed to do! With every surge, my body naturally pushed.
I watched in the mirror as my baby girl was born at 08:56 on June 17, weighing 8lb 5 oz and 22 1/2” in length.
I wish I had thought to smile! :) I was in such a relaxed state but so elated that she was finally here!
We delayed cord cutting and did immediate skin too skin. However, baby girl was not breathing well and they had to take her to the warmer to suction a bunch of fluid out of her lungs. Luckily, she pinked right up after and was returned to my chest. She hardly cried and was very content.
She did the breast crawl (AMAZING and something I'd encourage every new mom to try) and self latched for 90 minutes of breast feeding!
I did have a second degree tear. I am tempted to blame the pitocin (which I think caused my body to do more pushing then 'breathing down’). I don’t remember the birth being painful at all, just very intense pressure. If I had to describe it, it felt like a mensural cramp in my pelvic region combined with a very tight squeeze across my abdomen and pressure in my bottom! The only part I would describe as painful was the lidocaine injections for the stitching.
Baby girl is the most content baby who rarely cries. She still loves listening to our birth playlist with me. I attribute her calm demeanor to all my relaxations we did while she was in utero and our natural gentle birth.
We delayed bathing for several days, however, we chose to wash her hair because we couldn't wait to see it all clean! We were both surprised when she came out with so much dark hair!
She is a natural thumb sucker which is SO cute! However, we have since transitioned her to a binky.
My obligatory birthing during a pandemic photo.
We named her Tayvri Violet Smith. Tayvri is a name I have loved for many years and it happens to be the perfect combination of Jaycie and Trevor! Violet is my great grandmothers name. I was very close to Violet and I feel blessed to share her legacy with Tayvri. Trevor told me after the delivery that he was sure there were angels present at Tayvri's birth and grandma Violet was one of them. So the name is perfect for her.
I am so happy we took the Hypnobirthing course and I am absolutely in love with how our birth turned out. We were well prepared for every turn our birth plan took and I would definitely recommend Hypnobirthing to anybody interested!
To those who read this far, thank you for supporting our little family. <3
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